Truth Squad

Lately I have been a readin'
Certain things that make me wonder;
Then I scan it mighty careful
And begin to think and ponder.
I can understand 'bout Kruschev
Who aint never b'lieved in God,
But the thing that's left me guessin'
Is 'bout this so called "Truth Squad".

Seems they figger they've a corner
On what's right and on what's wrong;
If some statement doesn't suit 'em,
Up to them to sound the gong.
This T V debate right lately,
No one fought and no one bled,
And said Dick to Senator Kennedy,
"You've hit the nail right on the head".

Senator Jack shoots from the shoulder,
Cards face up, right down the line;
And the thousands who have heard him
Really seem to like it fine.
But the "Squad", they've got the jitters,
It's too bad the fix they're in;
So they start in twistin' statements,
And get in up to their chin.

I once heard a little story
Of a guy with his dander up;
He was yellin' and a cussin',
Called Old Sam a "Lousy Pup".
That aint all, for what he named him
Would in me have thrown a scare,
But old Sam he kept on smilin'
And he never turned a hair.

The accuser shot it to him,
Nothing seemed to bring relief,
'Til with face all hot with anger,
Called old Sam a "Chicken Thief'.
Then in Sam the anger mounted,
So it seems the story goes:
He uncorked a real hay-maker,
Hit the guy right on the nose.

Someone said, 'Sam, I'm astonished
Why you showed no signs of grief,
And you took it all real easy
'Til he called you 'Chicken Thief".
Answered Sam, 'I sure aint mindin'
Lyin' words and all that dirt,
But there's one place I am tender.
For its FACTS that sure do hurt."

H. B. Austin